A visit from the Environmental Health Officer.
Running around label and dating,
At the bar the EHO is waiting.
With a coffee on arrival to stall and to slow,
As chefs rally round filling in fridge temps on show.
On goes a hat, white coat, and black book,
With a swing of the door, it’s time for her look.
Greeted with a smile where there once was pure fear,
She asks to see vac packs probes and other gear.
Chefs washing hands like never before,
Ones in the freezer taking food off the floor.
On to the paperwork out comes the folder,
Luckily this Head Chef is passed it and older.
He doesn’t do service he doesn’t do prep,
So paperwork is all there and ready to check.
It’s the Sous job now to rally the boys,
“They’re just in the office, so keep down the noise”
Pull out that fridge and sweep it all clean,
And you run and hide the Sous vide machine.
Remember the parfait is pink from the salt that we use,
And the dishwashers reported, it just needs a fuse.
She walks out of the office and peers around,
Looking through fridges and where the wall meets the ground.
Flashing her torch and jotting away,
The fate of these boys all lies in today.
She’s almost finished just questions to go,
And we all tell the lies she’s heard before.
“They come in already vac packed and we used pasteurized yolks”
Quick fire questions she prods, and she pokes.
She hands over a sticker to put on the door,
With our Oscar performance we still scored a four.
It was the floor and the lights that held it back,
And the old school pot drain with the almighty crack.
Now owners arrive report card in hand,
Knowing full well this would cost more than ten grand.
We are happy with four stars they quickly decide,
Now the next time she comes there will be more things to hide.
~ Karl, Ginger Hospitality Chef
